Type 1 (The Improver)
Ones believe that they must BECOME good by constantly improving themselves, the world, and/or others, not knowing that they are ALREADY good though imperfect (bc good ≠ perfect).
Ones sabotage knowing their own goodness by refusing to acknowledge their inherent goodness and constantly looking for something to "fix".
Type 2 (The Befriender)
Twos believe that they must constantly make themselves lovable by shapeshifting into what (they think) others need, not knowing that they are ALREADY lovable as they are.
Twos sabotage themselves in refusing to take in love they do get because they're so used to transactional support. If they get love, it's as if they need to do something to "pay back the debt" because love isn't free.
Type 3 (The Performer)
Threes believe that they must constantly make themselves more worthy & admirable by seeming more successful, not knowing that they are ALREADY worthy and admirable in their true selves.
Threes sabotage themselves by shapeshifting so much according to others' definition of success that they forget who they actually are. They forget that success is defined by who THEY themselves are and what they WANT, not what others think.
Type 4 (The Individualist)
Fours believe that there's something inherently wrong with or missing from them that makes them worthy, not knowing that they are ALREADY whole and enough.
Fours sabotage themselves from connecting with goodness by assuming they're already disqualified from it. They desperately want to be understood, but also (unknowingly) make themselves un-understandable by constantly making themselves the exception to the rule. (slippery weasels, we are!)
Type 5 (The Observer)
Fives believe that they don't have enough resources, time, and energy to deal with the world's demands, not knowing that they ALREADY have more than enough resources (because the world provides for what they need).
Fives sabotage themselves by cutting themselves off from the world, living in their fortress behind impenetrable walls and up the ivory tower, assuming everyone else is a potential invader who would take their resources, while obsessing over their diminishing supply and getting depressed because they're disconnected from everything.
Type 6 (The Contrarian)
Sixes believe that they're unsafe in this scary world, not knowing that they ALREADY have enough strength, authority, and ability to take care of themselves IF they need to.
Sixes sabotage themselves by starting to create threats because they don't know how to (or don't want to) live in peacetime mode. (Pre-traumatic stress disorder!!)
Type 7 (The Enthusiast)
Sevens believe that they need to avoid being trapped in neverending pain/negativity by pursuing as many fun experiences as they can, not knowing that they are ALREADY capable of navigating (and surviving) the darker waters that actually give them deeper joy.
Sevens sabotage themselves by avoiding responsibilities, painting themselves into a corner when the consequences of those decisions pile up and shit (still) hits the fan.
Type 8 (The Challenger)
Eights believe that they need to constantly be powerful or else they'll be vulnerable or betrayed, not knowing that they are ALREADY vulnerable and it's okay to be comforted and protected by others.
Eights sabotage themselves by making so many risky and chaotic impulsive decisions that actually strip them of their power and make them vulnerable to rejection and betrayal.
Type 9 (The Harmonizer)
Nines believe that they need to blend themselves into the background so as to not rock the boat, not knowing that they ALREADY matter and belong as a unique individual.
Nines sabotage themselves by avoiding upsetting others so much that this itself causes tension in their relationships and life.
What reactions come up for you when reading about your types self-sabotage strategies?
Did I go for the jugular...? Sorry, not sorry!! I do want GOODNESS, WHOLENESS, & FREEDOM for you.
What are your Enneagram type's emotional habits?
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© Copyright 2023 Joanne B. Kim. All rights reserved.
JOANNE B. KIM, LMFT
Joanne is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Certified Brainspotting Practitioner in San Jose, CA. She helps people EXHAUSTED by anxiety, shame, and an allergic reaction to anger create VIBRANT relationships where they matter, too.
Many of her clients are:
(1) the highly responsible, conscientious, and empathic types
(2) Enneagram Type Ones, Twos, Fours, or Nines
(3) Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs)
The most common words spoken by those who’ve sat with Joanne:
“I thought it was just me. I’m NOT crazy!”
“I can finally figure out what to do with all these feelings!”
I was a panelist at the EnneaSummit 2024 for the Enneagram Practitioner Panel.
In this panel, we share our experiences and observations about what different Enneagram types think they need in therapy, what they actually need, and some important growth steps so they can grow beyond their type.